NEWARK - United Airlines Flight 417 crashed just fifteen miles outside of Newark airport today in what appears to be another Game Boy related accident, killing all but seven passengers. Without all electronics properly turned off and stowed for safety, the plane went into an immediate tailspin once it descended below it's cruising altitude of 35,000 feet. In response, TSA has announced its plans to require airlines to issue longer, more graphic safety videos before each flight. "We are very lucky that not everyone on board was killed instantly," said a TSA representative. "God only knows what would have happened if he was using a two-way pager". This incident comes less than a week after a Houston resident was severely injured after his flight took off without his seat in its full and upright position.
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